2025-02-04
I have ADHD. And to this day, everyone thought I am just crazy than anything else. It's like I'm in a pool of sadness, and happiness mixed together; Sometimes sour, sometimes sweet. In school, I always feel some sort of emptiness from others. I struggled with my emotions, leading to annoy other people, so much that one of the kids, in my class punched me, twice.
No boundaries whatsoever.
I vividly remembered my childhood being restlessness. I never took a nap, or rarely, just to spend my time alone in my room playing. My parents didn't know much and just let me roam free, describing it as "stylish".
Things started to look grim starting Secondary. I never payed any attention to anything. My grades slowly roll down the hill with the worst one being Math: 1/10. My mind couldn't stop thinking negatively, about how I will fail school, fail society, fail everyone... FAIL. And it turned back to normal, again.
Like that one Beatles song "A Day in The Life", a really high pitch noise, then suddenly, calm. A rollercoaster of emotion, I might say. Anything outside of school, like coding and watching random YouTube videos, I tend to lazer-focus on it and forget everything else; Heck, even living, or drink a cup of water.
There's so much on my mind, I can't control itself. It simply just keeps collecting stuff. When I take a simple photograph, I look everywhere, position it at least 5 times to get the job done. A task so simple, how can you overthink it?
Yep, I'm out of words.